OPINION: RELATIONSHIP SOS – THE UNREACHABLE EXECUTIVE

Our themes of Recognise, Release and Reframe are brought together in this final column on the theme of Respond: how to apply this self-knowledge and inner work to a relationship By Nicole Berg   The quality of your life will never be greater than the quality of your relationships. I wrote these words in June 2017, at the start of this series of columns on the topic of managing challenging relationships, which I created from a workshop I co-designed by the same name.1 I am, perhaps, an even stronger believer in this statement now. In my personal network, I’ve since […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE POWERLESS GRADUATE TRAINEE

Sometimes simply giving a person space is all they need to make a change. This article discusses reframing beliefs in a challenging relationship to allow space for growth. Nicole Berg explains   When I was six years old, my mother tells me, I was bullied by a boy, Michael*, in my class. By the time Valentine’s Day rolled around and I was preparing valentines for my classmates, I was determined to give everyone a valentine except Michael. My mother explained to me, as mothers do, that I couldn’t just leave one person out, and that it was the kind thing […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE MISREPRESENTING MANAGER

The emotional hijack – how do you coach a client to increase their emotional regulation and prevent them ‘shutting down’, asks Nicole Berg If you’re like me, now and again you’ll have a client with whom you really, really enjoy working. (I count myself lucky as this happens more often than not.) Elinor (not her real name) is one of those clients; among other traits, she readily opens her life to me as her coach. Because of this, I was surprised when she asked for coaching around the topic of emotional regulation, saying that she believed her direct reports viewed […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE CHALLENGING LONE WOLF OPINION

Resistance, even by a single employee, can hinder major workplace change. Strong relations must be forged if that change is to be accepted. The TRUST equation helps benchmark trustworthiness – and get your plan back on track by Nicole Berg A client of mine, Maria, has recently transitioned into a role that is new to her, and also new full stop, in the global headquarters of a large multinational company. She’s immersed in all-encompassing change, as she’s also moved across seas and cultures to take on this new challenge. As one who’s energised rather than daunted by challenge, she’s already […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE CHALLENGING NEW TEAM

In this issue we examine Stephen Covey’s spheres of concern, influence and control and their impact in relationships, with a goal to helping clients identify and consciously choose where to focus their time and energy By Nicole Berg   Most of us have had the experience of parachuting into uncharted territory (figuratively, though perhaps literally for more adventurous readers). What happens, though, when the territory is charted, but the map is flawed? A client of mine, Jerome*, relocated to another continent within a multinational company to head an internal consulting team. We began coaching soon after his appointment, and he […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE CHALLENGING EMPLOYEE

Raising awareness of disruptive behaviours in relationships – Part 4. How can a coach help a client address behaviours and take responsibility for their part in creating an unhealthy relationship dynamic? This issue: stonewalling Nicole Berg If you’re like me, you might enjoy attending meetings that involve your client. I like it because I’m able to catch a glimpse into who they are and what they do in a more enduring context that is far different to our coaching sessions. For this reason, I looked forward to meeting with a client and her line manager at the start of her […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE CHALLENGING NEW MANAGER

Raising awareness of disruptive behaviours in relationships – Part 3. How can a coach help a client address behaviours and take responsibility for their part in creating an unhealthy relationship dynamic? This issue: defensiveness Nicole Berg In the last two issues, we introduced two of four specific behaviours that are damaging to relationships. Here we focus on another – defensiveness – in a professional context. It sets out how a coach can help a client address behaviours and take responsibility for their part in creating an unhealthy relationship dynamic. I was invited into a large organisation to coach Esther*, a […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE CHALLENGING WIFE

Raising awareness of disruptive behaviours in relationships – Part 2. This issue: How can a coach help a client address behaviours and take responsibility for their part in creating an unhealthy relationship dynamic? By Nicole Berg Regular readers will know that in this column, I describe a client issue and invite the perspective of a subject expert to weigh in. Well, reader, this is a topic with which I’m profoundly familiar, not just as a coach, but as a flawed human being with quite the critical streak. If left unchecked, this ‘streak’ can, and does, cause damage in my life […]

RELATIONSHIP SOS: THE CHALLENGING EMPLOYEE

Raising awareness of disruptive behaviours in relationships – Part 1. This issue: How can coaches help clients address behaviours and take responsibility for their part in creating an unhealthy relationship dynamic?  By Nicole Berg I was assigned a client some time ago – let’s call him Andrew – with whom all signs pre-coaching pointed to a challenge – as an employee and potentially as a client. Andrew’s line manager indicated that Andrew didn’t seemed very engaged or effective – in fact, I was advised that if he decided to leave the company off the back of our coaching, it wouldn’t […]

OPINION: RELATIONSHIP SOS – THE MOTHER OF ALL CHALLENGES

Nicole Berg explores the complex and multifaceted nature of relationships to maximise fulfilment and quality of life for coaching and mentoring clients. This issue: Raising awareness of disruptive roles in a challenging relationship The quality of our lives will never be greater than the quality of our relationships. This is true for us, and it is true for our clients. I adore my mum. Recently my partner and I spent nearly two months living with her as we travelled back home to Canada to obtain new visas for the UK. For some people this would have been a bit much […]