Oh, for a good night’s sleep! This issue we look at how to support a stressed-out, sleep-deprived product manager whose values are being put on the line
THE ISSUE
Jo is a product manager in a multinational bank with a direct contribution to revenue. He’s being pressured at work to cut corners and do things in contradiction
with his values and the declared values of the organisation in order to deliver results and ‘get things across the line’.
He has become highly stressed and is struggling to survive and thrive in an environment where his personal ethics are not aligned to the values of some senior leaders, for whom financial performance appear to be the only priority. There have been casualties too. A few of his colleagues experienced similar pressures and three have left the company in the last six months.
Jo recognises the need to perform at a high level, has financial responsibilities he wishes to meet AND he’s very well paid. However, his performance has now come under scrutiny and unsubtle hints have been made that his bonus will be at risk if targets are not met.
Jo wants to be able to sleep well at night – which is happening less and less often. He doesn’t know whether he wants to stay or get another job elsewhere.
Jo’s boss has agreed with HR that Jo should have coaching and supports it, particularly as he’s concerned about the numbers and overall team performance.
- This issue’s troubleshooter has been curated by Veronica Munro, international C suite executive coach, performance facilitator
and author.
THE INTERVENTIONS
Mark Bradley, Managing partner, Fitch Bradley
Jo’s situation is increasingly common in pressurised working environments. My immediate concerns would be to: establish strong mutual trust so he can speak freely, and building credibility by highlighting my experience in supporting high-performing clients with similar challenges.
The first issue to address would be the impact on his mental and physical health of elevated stress levels and lack of sleep. This will also be impairing his ability to perform at his best at work. Education on this along with some physiological approaches to stress management, such as breathing practice, mindfulness and exercise, would be a starting point.
Frequently, when in this position, clients experience a sense of loss of control, beholden to their professional reputation and pressured to achieve ever greater success. When we feel trapped in this way, it’s easy to lose perspective and become disempowered. This has a knock-on impact on self-esteem, leading to negative thoughts and behaviour.
I’d explore how his conscious and subconscious mind currently see his choices, exposing any limiting beliefs or unhelpful stories. From here we could investigate what those choices really are, bringing back control and reconnecting with an open mind to what is available.
This would coincide with a deep dive into his values and life purpose to see how they align with his role and career aspirations. Art can be a very powerful tool. I’d invite Jo to draw an inspiring vision of his ideal future, unencumbered by his current predicament.
As Jo shifts to a stronger, more positive mindset, our focus could then move towards performance coaching.
Alyse Ashton, Founding director, Eye 2 Eye Development Ltd
I feel for Jo – this is a tricky position. When your values and ethics are transgressed, it’s a recipe for stress and ill-health. And by staying (for example, because of financial responsibilities) you agree to breach the things you hold dear. His struggle to sleep could be due to this betrayal of his ethics and values.
There may be scope to explore whether he sees a way to meet the financial targets without breaching his own ethical standards and company values. Drawing a Venn diagram of these three and exploring what’s possible at the intersections and implications could help expand his thinking.
If he agrees, I would address what’s keeping him awake and attend to his needs and wants. If he doesn’t agree, one option is to draw on Transactional Analysis, a psychoanalytic theory and therapy developed by Eric Berne during the 1950s. We can map a triangle on the floor with post it notes (or on paper) showing: I’m OK; You’re OK – I’m OK; You’re not OK – I’m not OK; You’re OK. My experience is that doing this physically is more impactful than sitting talking.
First, I’d share the framework and test his understanding. Then I’d invite Jo to stand in the place that reflects the dynamic he experiences with bosses
(it sounds like he is in: not OK). Then I’d ask him to notice and say what this is like. From there we could ask questions like: What are your needs and wants?;
What needs to happen to get those met?; What would need to happen to enable you to sleep well?; How do you feel here?
I would invite him to physically move to a more resourceful, productive place (or step towards it). Doing this slowly gives space to ask what it would take. Sometimes contrasting this with other healthy relationships where he can stand in I’m OK; You’re OK will enable him to tap into skills and resources he can apply here. This might flush out ways in which he can assert his needs and hold boundaries. He might conclude that he needs to leave (or something else).