Through supervision, coaches can gain intelligence on their ‘invisible toolkit’, and its impact in the coaching session, says Edna Murdoch

“Coach and client are engaged in a process of reciprocal influence… thus the person of the coach must be fully involved”
– Professor Bill Critchley

When a coach first engages with a potential employer or client the outcome is shaped by the coach’s energy, intellect, dynamism, intention and presence. A coach’s invisible toolkit also includes the life events, influencers, teachers and trainers that have made them – all of which will have a bearing on every coaching session.

When I was training we were asked to consider that every new session was shaped by our previous meeting, so our assumptions were often invalid.

We were also asked to consider who it was that walked towards the client with their hand outstretched. Did we notice what they were wearing, how they sounded and the brightness in their eyes? This attention guided us towards being aware of ‘who we are’ with our clients and, importantly, recognising the lens through which information was being filtered.

Coaching supervision is one way of enabling coaches to reflect on who and how they are in each coaching moment and to be intelligent about the impact of ‘self’ on coaching and on business/contracting conversations.

Imagine this typical scenario.

A client has access to four different coaches in one day, all identically trained and comparably gifted and experienced. The client will contract to work on the same issue with each coach. At the end of the day, the client will choose which coach they want to work with. What is it that informs their choice in these chemistry sessions? The coach knows that who they are is an important part of this conscious and unconscious decision.

In my ten years of supervising coaches, I’ve found that those with the most impact bring a space of conscious presence. They are knowledgeable about the self/other axis as they work and co-create a learning context that has genuineness, warmth and deep respect for the other.

Quantum leap

Quantum physics states we are all connected, all the time and in every place. Ervin Laszlo, philosopher and Nobel Prize winner, says we are one vast interconnected field of information.

The first time I became aware of the importance of energetic exchange in working with others, was when I trained as a counsellor. Our attempts at counselling were videoed and I was filmed sitting forward on the edge of my seat, arms swinging about, absolutely determined to sort out the person in front of me. My enthusiasm, my agenda and my energy were all over the client.

In subsequent sessions, I had to sit on my hands as I worked and a fellow trainee had to place their hands on my shoulders and hold me back in the chair. It was a powerful lesson in how not to be present.

When we work with an individual or group, we enter into and increase the energetic exchange that contains our creativity, thinking and intentions for the work. This starts from the moment a potential client or supervisee contacts a coach or supervisor and it continues as we talk and contract for the work.

As coaches, we need to be fully present and engaged, yet spacious and witnessing – giving attention to what is in front of us (individual client, group or commissioning client), what is between us (energy, relationship) and what is going on inside our own systems as we work (internal supervisor).

Sometimes the pressures of time or a tightly focused contract takes even the best executive coach away from these aspects of our work. We need to listen to the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle: “Words are secondary… far more important is the space of conscious presence that arises as you listen. That space is a unifying field of awareness in which you meet the other person without the separate barriers created by conceptual thinking.”

The paradox of presence

“Unconditional presence is the most powerful transmuting force there is”
– John Welwood

Every client, whether aware of it or not, is affected by who we are as we engage with them. Our presence, in the most subtle of ways, is powerful and can create either marvellous or cramped conversations.

As coaching and supervision training develops, there is an increased focus on developing the presence and person of the coach. The capacity to ‘be with’ clients, to attend fully to the whole field of relationships in which coaching is occurring, greatly increases the possibilities for learning and resourcefulness in sessions.

Coaches in supervision often present moments when the impact of the material or the pressure from their client takes them away from being unconditionally present. At such times, they note that clarity is diminished and their interventions become clunky.

Creating presence requires coaches to ground themselves in a mindful, embodied way, truly open to what might emerge in the session and be able to bring themselves back to that place.

There’s a paradox if we think that pure presence is at odds with the importance of the relational capacity. This is resolved if coaches consider that their real skill resides in first being unconditionally present, and from that awareness move to engage with the client.

The deep attention of presence guides the rhythm of silence and speech. It provides space for both cognitive and intuitive interventions, such as, ‘I’ve no idea where that came from!’ or ‘That shifted the whole session.’

As Peter Senge reminds us: “The success of an intervention depends on the inner condition of the intervener.”

The coach has a choice of knowing when to be present and empty, and when to be robustly engaged in dialogue. The choice to move into spacious awareness and forwards towards dialogue drives the conversation. The coach’s internal dance precedes and guides the conversational dance. Our clients ‘feel’ this rhythm as we engage with them – unwittingly, they pick up the energetic connection that we are co-creating.

Neurocardiology

Martin Buber speaks of the ‘I-Thou’ relationship, characterised by generosity, respect, mutuality and reciprocity. This is central to powerful coaching conversations and is amplified by discoveries in neurocardiology, which suggest that the signals the heart sends to the brain influence the functions of higher brain centres involved in perception, cognition and emotional processing.

Working consciously with the energies and intelligence of the heart is key to illuminating our coaching conversations.

For example, a coach brings a ‘difficult’ client to supervision. The client appears to learn and agrees to change certain behaviours. However, in spite of considerable coaching, there is no real attempt at change. The coach is frustrated. At this point, it is likely that the coach will focus on what is NOT happening, on what the client is NOT doing, or on how bad they are as a coach.

If the coach brings heart intelligence to the situation they will have compassion for how the client is stuck, allowing them to see the client’s real predicament. Staying connected and not judging will accelerate change. It takes courage to get there.

Allowing who we are to be animated by heart intelligence illuminates the coaching conversation. James Hillman has noted that “the heart is the seat of the imagination” and is therefore central to a coach’s impact.

If a coach can be a wise compassionate observer, if they can be curious and harness the imagination in any of the situations where coaches can get stuck or confused, there is greater possibility that the client will also be able to imagine resolution.

This is because the energy from one situation will flow into the next – we are all connected. So often, after a supervision session, the coach will report that by the time he has returned to sessions with a client, matters will have moved on without further intervention from the coach.

Bringing the intelligence of the heart into professional relationships and getting the heart around critical moments in coaching is one of the best ways to reach true solutions. It ensures that the space between clients and coaches is kind and open, that there is every possibility of enhanced mental clarity, intuitive discernment and cognitive performance. n

Edna Murdoch is founder-director of Coaching Supervision Academy

Unconditional presence: top tips

  • Decide to be more present
  • Choose a mind/body practice that enables you to be grounded and centred
  • Keep your spine upright and loose
  • Breathe consciously now and then
  • Invite your client to join you
  • Know when you are not present
  • Know how to return to presence
  • Every day, practise ‘noticing’ :
    ‘I notice that…’
  • Stay curious and open to what is emerging
  • Listen from the heart
  • Trust in process
  • Avoid too much certainty
  • Balance cognition with not knowing
  • Expect more to emerge that you had imagined
  • Keep your life in balance
  • Have the support of a coach supervisor

Coaching at Work, Volume 5, Issue 6