How many times have you been faced with a client and felt paralysed by your own ineptitude? In this series, Sam Humphrey looks at stereotypical clients and identifies the CPDs you can undertake to support your coaching mastery. This issue: the uncoachables

Client profile

  • Theme tune The Final Countdown
  • Favourite TV Any big money game show (especially when the contestants lose)
  • Catch phrases “… and then you die”; “I could have told you that would happen”; “What’s the point?”
  • Role models Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show; the Old Gits from The Fast Show

Spending time with this client is like running uphill blindfolded in narrow barbed wire fenced lanes, wearing a loose fitting hairy jumper, on Friday 13th, ie, there is a high chance of failure, extreme personal risk and an overwhelming sense of pointlessness.

This client has a very dark view of the world. Not only is his glass half empty, it is also cracked, dirty and the beer is flat. He believes people are waiting for the chance to humiliate you and take what is yours. His management style is not well-known for its supportive, developmental tone.

A chemistry meeting with this client is a spectator sport. It normally takes place in a glass-walled room so his colleagues can see the look on your face. The laughter can be quite distracting.

The following CPD activities will help you handle this uncoachable pessimist:

Foundation – Disney

“Just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.” In dealing with this client, there is a lot of wisdom in that line. Getting through the chemistry session without wanting to annihilate everything and everybody is all you can hope for. Fix a Disney-style grin on your face and think about happy ever afters – you might just get through the meeting.

Intermediate – PTS

As a hungry, earnest and naive coach, you may believe you are the one who can make a difference to the client. Don’t worry, the feeling will wear off at practioner level. Once you have reached 6 on the Beck Hopelessness Scale, motivate yourself to complete the coaching with Post Traumatic Shopping (PTS).

Practitioner – I’m reversing

Wikipedia states that reverse psychology is a persuasive technique that encourages the subject to do the opposite of what is suggested. Armed with this knowledge, you have a double-barrelled weapon. First, try reverse psychology on your client; if it fails, try it on yourself.

Master – Its all relative

As a master coach, you know that this client has a lot to teach the world. His unrelentingly bleak view of the world can benefit others, in particular, your ‘lost perspective’ clients.

Nothing helps you appreciate your lot more than hearing from someone who is worse off than you. No more than 15 minutes should do it.

Coaching at Work, Volume 5, Issue 5