Recent research suggest that UK businesses spend nearly £40 billion a year resolving conflicts. Coaches – with their mix of objectivity, impartiality and incisive questioning and listening skills – are well placed to help facilitate conflict resolution (CR). But although coaching can play a powerful role both in stemming an emerging dispute and in formal mediation, it can also prove inappropriate or ineffectual.
However, coaches may well find themselves being asked to cross over to mediation to break an impasse in a dispute, for which some adaptation of a preferred coaching style may be needed. Our focus here is the context for bringing coaching into formal mediation. Consider the following:
1. Help set realistic expectations
Individuals typically come with various expectations. Some may consider it a necessary evil on the road to litigation; others will keep their motives close to their chests; others again will come with suspicions that the mediator is an agent of the organisation only. All can turn a CR process into a dead end. Serious contracting and expectation setting is needed first.
Make it work
- Contract with each party alone before contracting with both together.
- Identify outcomes that are realistic – a disgruntled employee may wish to see someone they perceive as an errant boss being penalised.
- Agree criteria for closing the process, including making clear when it will be known that an agreement is impossible, and considering possible outcomes each party can accept.
- Define your own role (and be aware of best practice guidelines, following the Gibbons Review of employment dispute resolution and new employment legislation1).
Fatal flaws
- Not recognising the hidden issues that often lie at the root of a conflict.
- Believing the only satisfactory outcome is where each party feels itself vindicated.
- Not recognising that time and discussion may be needed for both parties to identify and break down what the bones of the disagreement actually are.
2 Public and private conversations
Although all mediation must take place in confidence, each individual should feel able to speak confidentially with a mediator. Conference sessions in which both parties are involved may also occasionally need to be stopped for time-out breaks.
Make it work
- Apply a simple model such as RESOLVE (see below).
Fatal flaws
- Pre-emptively introducing privately discussed issues into joint dialogue.
- Careless use of words that escalate disagreements out of proportion rather than words that defuse a situation.
- Failing to recognise and respect each party’s sensitivities.
- Allowing a documented audit trail to be made public.
3 When and when not to coach
Mediation and coaching rarely overlap completely. At times, a mediator must be a negotiator, a facilitator and a counsellor. If a coach’s role is to arbitrate, they may need to exercise discretion in concluding a settlement.
Make it work
- Work with others – two mediators may often be involved in a CR process.
- Recognise that mediators have a right to broker negotiation, contribute proposals and to strongly encourage participants not to reopen discussion on closed matters.
- Accept that one party may need to be talked through the other’s perspective.
Fatal flaws
- Believing it is normally enough to challenge rather than challenge and show impact on the other party.
- The repeated failure of a party to take agreed actions.
- Standing back from ownership of the process. Mediators may at times need to give overt direction, and are invariably expected to provide structure and move a dialogue to its logical end-point.
4 When to stop
Few organisations can allow a CR process to continue unchecked. A conclusion needs to be drawn, sooner not later, whether this is a minimum or compromise decision, a win–win for both or a recognition that the process is at stalemate.
Make it work
- Be clear when it seems discussions have reached an impasse. Check whether this is a mutual view. Remind both parties of the criteria for deciding when to close the process, and jointly test whether these have been reached.
- Recognise that there is life after CR. Agree actions to ensure both parties can move forward without future reference to the conflict.
- Don’t take notes in mediation.
Fatal flaws
- Allowing divergent issues to open up new dialogues.
- Not enforcing commitment to closing criteria.
Mediation may not offer a simple cross-over from coaching. However, those coaches wishing to make the switch are superbly equipped to do so.
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RESOLVE the conflict
R – Review
Both sides must give an uninterrupted account of their side of the dispute.
E – Emotions
Emotions will be involved at the outset. Point out that it is unproductive to allow them to encroach when searching for a mutually agreeable outcome.
S – Summarise
The mediator will summarise what they have heard. Both parties can correct the summary at this stage so that it is satisfactory to both sides. Deal only with the facts.
O – Outcome
Agree the mutually acceptable outcome, identifying common ground.
L – Latitude
This is when most of the hard work needs to be done. “Latitude” means “compromise”. Questions for both sides include: “What/where/how much are you prepared to compromise?…”
V – Value
Once the outcome has been achieved, thank all involved for their efforts. Emphasise that the result of mediation has been achieved by them.
E – Engage
Invite all parties to engage with each other to continue going forward positively and to prevent similar occurrences in the future.
Further information
Jackie Keddy and Clive Johnson are co-hosts of day events for workplace conferences.
Jackie Keddy is a highly experienced conflict resolution practitioner and coach. www.keddyconsultants.com
Clive Johnson is a highly experienced facilitator, coach and a course director of conflict-related training programmes. www.proactivestyle.com