However, these challenges may lead to intense emotions in the client, which can undermine their intention to change, leading to unconscious power struggles in the coaching relationship. While all intimate relationships (and coaching can be intimate) involve conflict, the coaching relationship is not one of equals. The coach offers something the client wants and this positions the coach as provider.
Research in psychodynamic therapy is helpful. Malan and Roth and Fonagy, reporting on research into the effectiveness of psychodynamic therapy, found that effective outcomes of therapy were correlated with direct attention to the in-therapy relationship and, in particular, to the therapist’s comments on the client’s (negative) feelings to the therapist.
How the coach responds to this emergent and unconscious conflict is crucial to the success of coaching, and the coach must be willing to use his or her own authentic response to provide the client with feedback in real time.
Projective identification
In projective identification, a client distorts the coach’s behaviour to conform to their expectations (projection) and behave in ways that produce such reactions. The client pressures the coach into experiencing the client’s unwanted feelings and behaviours as if they were the coach’s own (identification).
Cashdan sees the goal of projective identification as the subtle and powerful manipulation of others. Grant and Crawley argue that it is a form of communication used to convey the client’s experience of a previous dysfunctional relationship.
The client’s unconscious wish is that the coach can provide him or her with a more mature response so that he or she learns to contain and manage feelings and experiences previously found to be overwhelming. In fact, the client induces the coach into playing the client’s unconscious game – and is calling the shots.
Avoiding conflict
The warning signs are uncharacteristic feelings or behaviour that the coach doesn’t recognise in themselves and that are out of place in the relationship. The coach may not spot what is going on and may become locked into a collusive or damaging relationship that hampers growth and development. This is more likely to occur when the coach tries to avoid conflict or when he or she has unrecognised needs, such as adoration or love. Alternatively, the coach may be seduced into roles such as expert, advice giver or caretaker.
This will continue until the coach recognises and responds to the interaction in the relationship. On the positive side, if the coach can tune in to how the client feels and put this experience into words, both coach and client can move beyond the conflict to form a working alliance. This has been shown to be the most important factor in producing successful outcomes in therapy and coaching.
References and further info
- D H Malan, A Study of Brief Psychotherapy, Plenum, London, 1975.
- A Roth and P Fonagy, What Works for Whom? A Critical Review of Psychotherapy Research, Guilford, London, 1996.
- S Cashdan, Object Relations Therapy: Using the Relationship, W W Norton & Co, New York, 1988.
- J Grant and J Crawley, Transference and Projection, OUP, 2002.
- H Brunning (ed), Executive Coaching: Systems- Psychodynamic Perspective, Karnac, London, 2006.
- E de Haan, “Lost in the moment”, in Coaching at Work, 3, 5, 2008.
- S Howard (ed Windy Dryden) Psychodynamic Counselling in a Nutshell, Sage, London, 2006.
- M F R Kets de Vries, The Leader on the Couch, John Wiley and Sons, England, 2006.
- A Obholzer and V Z Roberts, The Unconscious at Work, Routledge, London, 1994.
- S Palmer and A Whybrow, Handbook of Coaching Psychology, Routledge, 2007.
- J Segal, “Psychodynamic therapy”, in The Sage Handbook of Counselling and Psychotherapy, (2nd ed), Sage, London, 2006.
Volume 4, Issue 2