Meeting Two
The coach
Elaine Robinson, senior lecturer, HRM, Nottingham Business School, Nottingham Trent University
We met for our second coaching session on a hot day in a stifling room. We reviewed our first session, revisited the GROW model (Whitmore, 2002) and the “homework” Rebecca had been asked to complete.
The first part of it was to SMARTen the “I want to progress” objective. The second was to prioritise the various themes we wanted to work on.
We discussed aspects of achieving work-life balance to her satisfaction, her interest in expanding her education and her desires for the future.
These were all fairly nebulous goals at this stage and I knew it was my job to ask some good questions to get her thinking more deeply about what she wanted to achieve.
We did this by getting Rebecca to complete three pieces of previously prepared paperwork so we could have some information to work with. This included focusing on three things she would value and appreciate, three she would rather not have to deal with and three limitations.
This values elicitation exercise comprised 50 key words describing values – for example, “adventure”, “dignity” and “independence”. I asked Rebecca to limit herself to three to compel her to recognise her most important values and drivers.
She selected “achievement” and “strength” because she felt herself to be independent and a strong person, and “happiness” because quite simply she “wanted to continue to be happy”.
Rebecca has a naturally happy disposition and so this was, for her, more of the same. It was interesting that we appreciated we both had a sub-agenda: Rebecca had a desire to learn about coaching from a client perspective, and I was keen as her line manager for her to learn how to coach.
We openly discussed that any issues to do with her career development would have to be in the context of general development and that I would not steer her. This goes back to the coaching contract and the notion that the solution lies within the client, Nothing was in my power as coach, only in Rebecca’s power to make changes as a client.
Learning/key points
- Find a suitable environment
- Homework aids the process and provides links
- Do some preparatory paperwork
- Recognise any other agendas
- Develop the questions
Key coaching question
- If you did know the answer, what would it be?
- What else could you do?
Reflections
It was not surprising at the second session for Rebecca or myself to be floundering a little, after the initial excitement. A “Kübler-Ross” dip (part of the Swiss psychiatrist’s Change Curve five-stage model) was inevitable as we both felt our way into the relationship.
At work we hold corporate responsibility for training on PDR (performance development and review/appraisal) and we give feedback, both informally and formally, at least annually, so the coaching conversation could very easily have felt exactly like a PDR session.
As a coach I had to detach myself from coaching Rebecca in that PDR sense. I sought ways to avoid this, which turned out to be easier in some areas than in others.
The most difficult part related to her key goal – that of career development and opportunities. As her line manager I could easily have had some influence on this and so I had to be careful not to raise her expectations or be unfair to any other members of staff.
We dealt with this by openly discussing the goal from the outset in terms of managing Rebecca’s expectations. In addition, I had to avoid the managerial stance of giving advice. The important principle was, in Whitmore’s terms, to “unlock” Rebecca’s potential to maximise her performance in her chosen goal.
I was conscious of negotiating the most effective means to enhance learning through providing feedback (Caplan, 2003). I was pleased that together we achieved a quality coaching conversation.
The client
Rebecca Peat, staff development trainer, Centre for Professional Learning and Development, Nottingham Trent University.
This session started with a discussion about the tasks I had agreed to complete in the first session. First was what I wanted to get out of the coaching and my overall objective.
We then discussed my influences, themes and values in my life. The influences included my family and friends, and the colleagues I had worked with.
Family and friends were strong themes, as were achievement and strength. I recognised that the support of my family was a crucial part of my life. I described some of my role models, both in my personal and work life. In addition, we spoke about the “negative role models” I had encountered – people from whom I had learnt how not to do things!
We then explored the characteristics of an effective coach. Elaine had asked me to list 10: I managed 21! I tried to assess myself against these characteristics. To be an effective coach one of the challenges for me would be not to ask leading or judgmental questions. I think this would be especially challenging when you already know the person (as with Elaine and I).
We ended this session by reviewing my objective: was it SMART? Did it align with my values? What were the next steps to take to work towards achieving it?
We agreed on actions for me to take for the next session.
Learning/key points
- Manage expectations of coaching
- Reminder of ground rules at start of second session to encourage openness
- Sometimes difficult to separate personal from work-related goals, hence holistic approach taken
- Openness and trust are important in truly finding solutions
- Coaching can be intense: 1–1.5 hours was appropriate
- Real commitment needed by client to undertake agreed tasks/actions
Reflections
The session confirmed what was important to me and made me look at what I had gained from influential people in my life. It highlighted that learning could take place anywhere.
As my manager, Elaine was already aware of some of the influences, themes and values in my life. It still felt somewhat revealing to share some of these with her, yet I was happy to do so.
The confidentiality ground rule helped but I would also reiterate the importance of contracting for closure and to avoid dependency. Thus, “If at all uncomfortable because of the line manager/direct report relationship, the sessions will be closed.”
However, as Elaine was very open and trusting as a manager, I felt able to be the same.
One thing I found hard was not to ask her for advice or guidance, as I might do in our regular line manager/employee relationship.
I felt this session was more intense than the first as it was a lot more personal and not just work-related. I also realised coaching was not merely a straightforward process of the coach asking me questions and me answering them in the session; it involved me doing some work between sessions and being genuinely committed to achieving my goals.
Volume 4, Issue 1