Coaches need to acknowledge the importance of the relationship in their practice- Bowlby’s attachment theory has resonance for both coach and client, suggested Bill Critchley. By Elaine Robinson
Sharing Ashridge’s relational approach to coaching at the European Mentoring & Coaching Council UK’s annual conference on 5-7 May, executive coach and organisation consultant Critchley highlighted how co-construction of meaning is one of the main ways change comes about.
“Acknowledging that we all live in an inherently relationship context, we construct meaning together, in the here and now, this being the central means for change”, said Critchley, who was instrumental in developing the Ashridge Masters and Doctorate in Organisation Consulting.
As human beings have a primary need for attachment, be it secure or insecure, coaches have the potential to do harm and should feel as “at risk” as their clients, said Critchley. He said it was inevitable that the coach becomes a “significant other”, with transference occurring. He urged coaches: “to be on edge because how do you know where it’s going?”
Critchley said coaches and consultants should enquire of themselves: “How are you responding to this?” and “What meaning is this evoking?” But he said “Know that there are two answers; neither of them is adequate.”
Critchley outlined three Gestalt principles which inform coaching at Ashridge:
(1) The change principle – the paradoxical theory of change. If you really want to change, concentrate on what is
(2) The process principle – you cannot become someone you’re not, you can only become more of who you are
(3) The holism of field principle – clients are located in a field of communicative action. We are similarly constructing (he provided the example of a truant child and the requirement for whole family therapy).
See also “Stuck on you”