Frederique Murphy has developed three steps to help leaders move out of their comfort zone and away from fear to achieve their full potential
“Wherever we are at, there is always that next level to step onto. And that step always requires a shift in our mindset; breaking through to that higher level involves breaking through fears and insecurities, challenges and doubts that come up at those moments. I call this ‘the edge’.”
Frederique Murphy, Lead Beyond The Edge
As coaches, we develop people to step onto a higher level as part of their professional development, again and again and again.
Every time people you’re working with aim for new heights – be something they aren’t yet, have something they don’t have yet, do something they haven’t done yet – they’ll encounter fear. The edge can be scary, and that fear can keep them from achieving their full potential. Yet, their best moments are on the other side of their fears.
My recently published book, Lead Beyond The Edge (Murphy, 2021) is my solution – inspiring and equipping coaches and leaders/managers-as-coaches to lead extraordinarily at work and at home. Learning how to lead beyond the edge will result in you leading coaching clients, yourself, your team, your organisation, with strategic control, inspiring resilience and impactful confidence.
Here are three steps to do exactly that, ensuring you don’t let fear control beliefs, attitudes and behaviours.
Fatal flaw: Ignoring our comfort zone
Encourage clients or employees to think of their goals. The things they aren’t yet. The things they don’t have yet. The things they haven’t done yet. All these things are outside their comfort zone. I know that some schools of thought tell you to forget about the zone, but it’s not the right thing to do, as we want to be honest with ourselves and increase our awareness. The more we know, the better we can tackle things. So be fine with it. You and those you work with have a comfort zone. We all have a comfort zone. Let’s push through it, and lead beyond the edge.
- ACCEPT (belief)
Neuroscience backing this up: the threat response
Make it work
Encourage clients to own where they are. They are about to accomplish something that they’ve never done before. It’s uncharted territory and their brain naturally responds with panic. Take a moment to think about it from the brain’s point of view. Your client’s brain wants to be as efficient as possible and you’re asking it to go for something that is new; it simply doesn’t know yet how to respond and support you/them at that moment.
By clients accepting where they are, by normalising it, they’re already moving towards a much calmer brain. They’re facing their fears by letting their brain know that they understand its initial response.
It’s a new level, like being on a plane, and feeling your ears pop: it happens because you’ve accessed a new level of altitude and this was you simply adjusting to it. That awareness brings more control, which eases people into acceptance, and that acceptance helps them to instantly counteract the effects of the threat response.
Accepting where you are is the key to moving forward to where you want to go.
- ADOPT (attitude)
Neuroscience backing this up: neuroplasticity from mental rehearsal
Make it work
Supporting clients to adopt their fear means fighting and pushing through their comfort zone, going for their goal. It’s about adopting a can-do attitude that supports them to always keep going and bounce back to make it happen. The key is about finding a way to encourage their brain to hop onboard their vision, and once onboard, support them to that next step. It lies in this quirky scientific insight: our brains can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary.
Mental rehearsal enables us to step up our game by boosting our motivation, sustaining our momentum and inspiring us to push through. Encourage your client to imagine that they’ve already achieved their goal. Their brain will believe they’ve achieved it before and will ease them in when they do it for real. Adopting means they’re embracing how their fear symbolises an imminent jump to a better them. This new attitude gives us the upper hand over our brain as we help it embrace the fear.
Fear is only your enemy as long as you dread it, so befriend it to support you in your success.
- ACT (behaviour)
Neuroscience backing this up: motivation and its feedback loop, the reward system
Make it work
Acting through your fear is the last step for you to reach beyond the edge of your comfort zone. This is the most straightforward step – the one that stands between where you are right now and where you want to be to reach your goal. Acting leads to progressing and that progress raises your anticipation of what’s to come – and your brain activates the reward system.
Acting through the fear gives you the upper hand over your brain as you help it cheer you on. That first step is often the scariest, and yet you must take it to obtain something different. This strategy gives you the one thing you can do to make it all happen: take action. As it happens, you are driven to make even more happen – this is the positive feedback loop you’ve entered.
Motivation is not what triggers behaviour; behaviour is what triggers motivation.
Results
How do you know you’ve successfully coached people through these steps?
Step 1
They’ll say: “I absolutely understand the importance of acceptance, and I accept. By accepting, I’m helping my brain relax into the situation. I understand this is all normal. I understand my fear is normal, since I’ve not done ‘it’ yet, AND I’m excited for the next step bringing me closer to my goal.”
Step 2
They’ll say: “I absolutely understand the importance of adoption, and I adopt. By adopting, I’m helping my brain embrace the situation. I understand that by befriending
my fear, turning it around into excitement, I create what my brain needs to have in order to bring me closer to my goal.”
Step 3
They’ll say: “I absolutely understand the importance of action, and I act. By acting, I’m helping my brain cheer me on. I understand that by pushing through my fear, taking that next step, I signal to my brain that this next step is important to me, thus I get rewarded for it, and continue that all the way till I reach my goal.”
Conclusion
And there you have it: my three steps to help you develop people to lead beyond the edge. Coach them to form this new belief, attitude and behaviour, and as a result, help them break through to their next higher level.
This ACCEPT belief, ADOPT attitude and ACT behaviour will support them again and again and again on their way to extraordinary results as they lead beyond the edge.
Reference
- F Murphy, Lead Beyond The Edge: The Bold Path to Extraordinary Results, Practical Inspiration Publishing, 2021
- Frederique Murphy is a leadership mindset strategist who inspires and equips leaders to move through extraordinary change. With her Mountain Moving Mindset platform, as a multi award-winning keynote speaker, coach, and consultant, she helps global organisations – including Fortune 500 companies – tap into the power of their leaders’ minds to rewire their brains for success. She brings together 17 years’ experience in corporate change and scientific expertise in positive psychology, neuroscience and behaviour change with strategic vision and business acumen to drive powerful transformations.