Judit Ábri von Bartheld shares her simple yet powerful LAZY model for coaching
Being lazy is not a quality that one should be proud of, yet when you use it in coaching conversations it can carry a different meaning. Let me explain how.
The LAZY coach
As a coach trainer and mentor coach, I notice that the most difficult behaviour for new coaches is to learn how to refrain from giving advice. Most of the time, as coaches, we’re so eager to help our client that we struggle with how to hold back suggestions and advice that otherwise we would freely give to a friend at any time.
In a sense, coaches need to learn how to be ‘lazy’ and hold the silence as long as it takes and just wait for the answers and solutions to come from the client. Thus, I teach the LAZY coaching model to emphasise the need – among other skills – for the coach to grasp the art of not knowing, and how to be happy with that.
In addition, the letters of LAZY stand for valuable and indispensable coach competencies in line with the ICF’s Core Competencies.
On the learning path to becoming a professional credentialled coach, the co-creation of the coaching process, giving more and more choices to the client, is the way to grow for a coach. So, for me, the coach being lazy means that they check and ask for direction from the client, and want to learn from the client what to prioritise during the coaching session. The coach simply leaves it up to the client to pick and choose what happens and how that happens during their work together.
Being a LAZY coach manifests itself in the following coach competencies and behaviours:
L – Listening
A – Awareness building and also ambiguity
Z – Zest
Y – You, “coaching is all about you, the CLIENT”
This model is simple, easy to understand and follow, yet powerful. The LAZY model is a minimal coach competencies package, yet it relates so nicely to the ICF Core Competencies.
Let me elaborate:
Listening is obviously tied to Active Listening. However, we can also add Coaching Presence and even Powerful Questioning and Direct Communication as well since they are also rooted in the coach’s ability to listen well.
Awareness speaks for itself. Awareness building is one of the ICF Core Competencies, and no coaching happens without it. If a conversation happens without new insights emerging, it is arguably not called coaching.
Under the letter A we can also add ambiguity. This is connected to the coach’s state of not knowing, so this is not only the dominant feature of the VUCA world, but also of coaching. In a coaching session, we never know what comes up, and we have to be happy with whatever emerges. That is what we have to work with. And arguably it is when we suspend our judgment as a coach, and be present to the widest range of potential scenarios for our clients, and be present to the ambiguity that may emerge, this is when we are the best to serve our clients.
Zest talks about your energy level and how you match that of the client. This means, as a coach, noticing the variations in tones of voice, pace of speech or inflection of the client, and knowing what to do with it as part of your very valuable observations.
You. There is no doubt that “coaching is all about YOU, dear client” – this is something that us coaches have to keep in mind all the time.
The LAZY manager-as-coach
The LAZY model with some minor variations can also apply to managers who wish or need to coach as part of their leadership style.
For managers, acting LAZY can be especially difficult since the LAZY model reflects a behaviour that is difficult to follow in leadership positions where the ego often takes over. The world around the manager is pushing him/her in the direction of trying to look clever at every moment and to come up with answers no matter what.
L – Listening
A –Awareness building, but also Admit and Allow and be tolerant of Ambiguity
Z – Zest – energy of the manager and that of his team
Y –You –the other person, whoever sits across from the manager in the coaching style conversation
Most of the time coaching is not the natural style of behaviour for most managers. On the other hand if the adjective lazy means that managers do not have to make a big effort and learn too many new things to be a successful coaching style leader, then the behaviours of the LAZY model could be attractive to them.
Learning to listen is an oft neglected skill, yet once learnt it’s highly appreciated by the manager’s direct reports. The essence of listening is best reflected in this quote by Dave Ulrich, partner at The RBL Group, made in his webinar at the WBECS summit 2014. “Listening is not that I understand but the other person feels understood.”
To be a good listener first you have to work on your presence to be present in the conversation, with all your attention on the other person.
With self-awareness you can always check your presence and notice when your mind wanders off. Bring it back!
Admit is also built on self-awareness and it refers to showing our vulnerability and sharing our weaknesses just to be human while you are a leader, and from time to time to allow others to take the lead, and empower them to decide on matters of their expertise. Ambiguity is part of the process: to allow whatever, from whoever comes up in the discussion as the possible best solution in the given moment.
Zest is more about the energy level of the manager. Invigorating enthusiasm or tiredness and burn-out are all possible scenarios. Which applies to you more?
You is always YOU, the other person in the conversation.
If you employ these few, yet very powerful, LAZY coaching skills, you do not have to learn much, just act lazily yet still be very successful in supporting clients or direct reports in their development.
As a LAZY coach or LAZY manager-as-coach you can serve them well as it suits them best.
- Judit Ábri von Bartheld MA, MCC is an executive and mentor coach, who runs a coach training programme in Budapest, Hungary, as well as the Coaching Without Borders event series of monthly one-day workshops featuring global coaching professionals and leadership experts on developmental topics. She is executive coach, visiting tutor and ICF programme lead at Henley Business School Centre for Coaching and Behavioural Change