A first meeting with this coach can be quite disconcerting as the eyes in her back of her head are unusual to say the least. Many of her clients have become used to them and deliberately position her so she can get the attention of any waiter working in the cafe they meet in. This coach has an amazing capacity to listen to you describe your issue. Once you have furnished her with the details she needs, your partnership will take an interesting turn. Before you know it she will be all over you like the worst rash you can imagine. She is intent on making you succeed and nothing will stand in her way, least of all you.
All of a sudden you will be caught up in a whirlwind of activity, none of it of your own making and none of it influenced by you. This coach thinks the ultimate coaching assignment was The Truman Show and dreams of the day she can orchestrate someone in such a grandiose fashion. Suddenly, she will appear in your board meetings, interjecting at every opportunity to tell the assembled group what you really meant. Circulars with your name on will appear on your desk after everyone else has seen them. Her ability to create email distribution lists is frightening and, as if by magic, emails sanctioning business activities to help you achieve your coaching goals will appear in your “cc” list. Your colleagues will start sentences with “Having run this by your coach…” and “Your coach suggested…”.
The length of this coaching intervention is wholly dependent on how quickly she can get your job done for you. At the end of which she may resemble the Doctor Who character Absorbaloff, played by Peter Kay. This coach metaphorically absorbs you (as opposed to Absorbaloff, who literally absorbs you). This coach’s unrelenting commitment to your success drives her to be measurement-mad. She has every business measurement tool, technique and process at her fingertips and will implement them all if they will demonstrate the positive impact since her arrival.
At the end of the coaching assignment, clients often feel as if they have taken part in a re-enactment of Trading Places. That said, you will have achieved all of your objectives, on time, in full and on budget. The best thing to remember about working with this coach is to be careful what you ask for, as you will definitely get it.
Purpose of work:
She wants the client to win as “your result is her result” and she never fails.
Typical client:
This coach often has a mix of clients. Some are real high-potential high-flyers and others are victims in need of rescue, therapy or counselling. That said, she doesn’t see a difference and she certainly doesn’t alter her approach to working with them.
Fee structure:
Recognition is what works with this coach. She likes nothing better than to bask in others’ glory. She loves prizes, awards, accolades and mentions. She asks that her clients mention her publicly as being instrumental in their success – there is a sliding scale of discount depending on the readership/viewing numbers/listeners of the used medium.
Key skills:
The speed with which she can move from the end of the phone to be in your office can only be rivalled by Dash from The Incredibles. She also has an amazing ability to wrestle physically and verbally.
Theme tune:
Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler
Items couldn’t live without:
Her secret service ear piece, CCTV, iPhone, laptop and webcam and the eyes in the back of her head.
Training/CPD:
Memory training and speed-reading courses. Subscribes to Who’s Who to keep her networks up to date.
Role models:
The A-Team; Trinny and Susannah; Boudica.
Volume 2, Issue 6